Went to a football game, sat next to ass hats.
So, I ponied up some cash to take The Girl to a Colts game Monday night. Now, I hate the Colts. Hate them. Haaaaaate them. However, this post isn’t about that at all. It’s about the idiots we see in public at ever sporting event.
So, we took our seats in lovely section 435. Not a terrible view. The ladies sitting to the right of Ray seemed super nice. The field looked great and Billy Ray sang the anthem. I know right, stacking up to be an awesome night! Then the four lame asses show up. They wedge their drunk selves to the left of me. Directly to my left was a bald fellow who insisted on leaning on me for about ten minutes. I gave him the death stare. Then I gave him the I might piss on your back stare. He swapped seats with one of the girls in their party.
Then the Colts scored. I know, that sucked enough without having to endure a lapdance I didn’t want. New seat buddy fancied herself a bit of a dancer. I fancied her as a drunk skank ho. So, for the next few minutes I got a shoulder full of ass. Now I have arm herpes. Gross. This went on for most of the first quarter. Ho’ didn’t even know who was playing, so that was nice.
A few minutes into the second quarter the girls decided they wanted to go to the Bud Light Party Zone. I have no idea what this is, but my guess it’s where drunk girls go when they realize they made their boyfriends spend way to much money on tickets they really didn’t want. Said boyfriends agreed that the girls could only go if they agreed to eat each other out when they returned to the hotel. I puked a little. The girls giggled. I’m not sure about the rest of the conversation. I was too busy puking, however shortly after the girls left. So maybe there was a lil lezzie action. Not sure.
Mercifully, at the half the guys left. I thought I was alone on my island of hate until I noticed everyone else seemed to be overjoyed at their exit. It made me tingle with happiness. I may hate colts fans, but at least they know that drunk ass hats are annoying.
-Dusty
